"I thought I did!' Jack protsted. "Really? You thought leaving me for dead, cursed in the middle of nowhere was a favor?" Will asked incredulously. "No. Not that part. Well, the curse part yes. I..." she was flustered and having trouble collecting her thoughts. "The curse was the favor?" Will said, his voice full of disbelief. "Yes!" Jack said fiercely. "See, this is what I mean. I ask for answers, you say something completely ridiculous, and then when I press you you're going to tell me you can't tell me why," Will said. "The curse didn't come from the test in the ruins, Will. It came from me, and it isn't a curse," Jack said firmly. "I knew going in that I was going to have to betray you, so I wanted to give you something in return. Something good, that would maybe take some of the sting off what I did and make your life a little better." "How the hell did you think giving me the most dangerous luck on the planet would make my life better?" Will demanded. Jack exploded. "It was supposed to be good luck!" After the outburst she reined in her voice in again, looking frustrated and tense. She stood up and started pacing. "It's supposed to be a blessing! You can't even imagine what I gave up to give it to you. It was supposed give you everything you ever wanted. It was my apology, and I don't know why it didn't work." Will didn't know what to say. He just shook his head in disbelief. The idea that the curse he'd been suffering with for years, the terrible luck that cost him his career and got a lot of other people killed, was somehow a blessing wasn't something he could wrap his head around. "You always were terrible at apologies," he muttered. Jack winced. "Yeah." "So if you hadn't... given me this, I'd just have woken up in the ruins alone but otherwise the same. This curse wasn't from breaking the seal in the ruins?" Will asked. "No. It was part of the treasure we found," Jack said quietly bigtitstube. "I could have kept it for myself." "I wish you had," Will said flatly. "Me too." Jack turned away from him and looked out into the distant black seas. "You don't understand how frustrating this is," she said quietly. "Oh, is it hard for you?" Will snapped. "Living with all this guilt and anger about how no one understands the sacrifice you made by leaving your partner to die? The eternal hardship of keeping all your reasons for hurting people a secret and wondering why no one fucking trusts you anymore? Come the fuck on," Will was angry now. Jack's air of angst was insufferable. "This whole situation, from the instant you made your choice to leave me in a hole, until this exact moment, is a your fault. It's all one long chain of events caused by your bad planning, and your willingness to sacrifice other people on the altar of getting what you want!" Will winced as soon as it was out of his mouth. That was the kind of thing he'd been wanting to say to Jack for years and never been able to. The last few days, things had seemed different and he'd wanted to let them play out, but all the resentment was still there beneath the surface and was finally coming out. He couldn't see Jack's face, but he could imagine it. When Jack got quiet, that was when things were going to get ugly. "I know," Jack said calmly. Will's brows rose. That wasn't what he'd expected. "It's all just a long string of mistakes. I spent a long time shielding myself from all the pain I'd caused by telling myself that it would be different if you and Bella knew everything, and that I deserved to be hated anyway. I made my choice and I thought that I could live with it because Bella was alive. Even if she hated me, I could be happy she wasn't dead." Will wanted to make a bitter remark about Jack's new martyr complex, but he didn't. He let her go on. "I was wrong. It wasn't enough. I knew that years ago, but by then I couldn't figure out how to come back and make things right. I still don't. How would you apologize for this?" Jack asked. "I'd start by coming clean," Will said. "No more mysteries. No more making us take it on faith that your reasons were good. No more trying to cash in on good will that burned out years ago. You have all the cards, Jack. All we ever wanted was for you to put them on the table." Jack slowly nodded. "I want to. I would have years ago, but... telling you puts Quinn and I in a lot of danger. Hell, it could put everyone in a lot of danger." "You said that before and it still doesn't make any sense," Will rolled his eyes. "I know," Jack sighed. "Is there any way to get past this without that part?" "I really don't understand why I should have to," Will said. "You don't. I'm just asking," Jack said sadly. "You said you know what my curse is. Do you know how to get rid of it?" Will asked sharply. "Yes," Jack said. "How!" Will demanded. "I can't tell you. For the same reasons I can't tell you why I left you in the ruins, or what the curse really is in the first place. It's all the same thing," Jack sounded like she was tearing herself in two. She was looking off the railing like she was contemplating tossing herself overboard. Something in her tone pulled Will back out of his anger. "What happens if you do? What really happens?" Will asked. "Everything changes between us, and not like you think. Not like they are now. We might be able to be friends again, but everything will get colored by the knowledge. It will eat you inside. Not because you'll hate me, but because you'll want something from me that I don't want to give," Jack said. "Doesn't sound that different from now," Will shrugged. "It will be," Jack said simply. "Once you know there will be a choice hanging over our heads, and the price will be Quinn. To give you what you want, I'd have to sacrifice him." "Like you sacrificed me for Bella's sake?" Will asked. "Exactly," Jack nodded. "So what's stopping you this time?" Will asked. "Not wanting to make the same mistake twice," Jack said with a small, tired shrug. "You think you made a mistake? I thought you said you saved Bella's life?" Will asked. "I did. I... I think I would do it again," Jack turned around. Her voice was steady, but Will could see the tears welling in her eyes. "You see why this is so hard? How do you weigh anything against the life of someone you love? All this bullshit? Years of guilt and anger and pain, it could all be gone now. It could all have been gone years ago, but the price would be sacrificing someone I love. I've already done that twice. I don't want to do it again." "Twice?" Will asked. "You weren't the only one I lost, Will," Jack snapped. "Bella's alive, but she hates me for what I did." "No she doesn't," Will replied quietly. "She does!" Jack's eyes closed tight. "She tolerates my presence here because of you. She's trying, I can tell, but she's really angry and still doesn't really want me around, just like you. She's only putting up with me because she thinks I might be able to give her some answers." "You have it backwards," Will's voice was low, and fierce. "The only reason I'm here is because of her. When you came back into town she did her thing with her cards. She thinks you're going to die, and that I can stop it. She's on what she thinks might be a suicide mission because there's a chance that it will save your life!" Jack just stood there with her mouth open, staring at Will. She sat down on the bench behind her and took a few deep breaths. "Dammit," she finally muttered. "She was the one who convinced me to come with you, then I kinda tricked her into coming along too," Will shrugged. "You need to find better lovers, Will." Jack often jumped to the end of a thought process, and then had to work her way back. Sometimes Will could reverse engineer he conclusions, but this time he was baffled. "What?" he asked. "You've already been sacrificed by me to save her. Now she's willing to sacrifice you to save me. It's all just loops and patterns. This whole story. Nothing but piles of recurring themes," Jack said flatly. "Huh." Will hadn't thought of it like that. "I guess there are a lot of coincidences." "They aren't coincidences, Will," Jack said rubbing her temples. "You're really going to have to start explaining things. You seem to know a lot more about what's going on than I do," Will said. He sat down next to her. "It's your curse. It's all part of the same pattern, and I think I'm finally starting to see it for what it is," Jack rubbed her face. "And now you're going to want to know more, and I can't tell you." "Wonderful," Will deadpanned. "What do you want, Will?" Jack asked. "More than anything else?" Will's eyebrow raised. "To get rid of this curse," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "No, Will. That isn't true." Jack sounded very certain, and a bit sad. "How would you know?" Will scoffed. "Because you still have it. If you really wanted to be rid of it, it would have been gone long ago," Jack said. "You think I want to live like this?" Will was getting angry again. "I think you did, for a while. It was a perfect excuse to wallow in misery. I know how you are when you want things. If you'd wanted the curse gone you'd have sailed to the ends of the earth to find out. You didn't. You holed up in an abandoned lighthouse. You became a bridge troll making people pay you for their passage, and you blamed it on the curse, and me." "Yo think I shouldn't have? Everytime I tried to pursue what I wanted, things went horribly wrong! People were getting hurt. Accidents kept happening. Staying home was the only way to stay safe." Will said. "You make it sound like it was my choice. Didn't you just admit that the whole curse was your fault." "I did," Jack said. "But the five years that followed, where you stopped caring about everything? That was on you, and I think it only worked as long as I wasn't around. The moment I came back you couldn't keep it up anymore. You couldn't pretend not to care. You couldn't pretend not to want anything." "My life doesn't hinge on you, Jack," Will said flatly. "I had plenty of goals while you weren't around." "And you accomplished all of them, and still gave up," Jack accused. "Every decision you made pushed you further and further away from people. You did everything you could to isolate yourself. If not for Janie I think you would have thrown yourself off your lighthouse." "That's a little overly dramatic, don't you think?" Will scoffed. "Not even a little. You tried to get yourself killed yesterday," Jack said. Will sighed. "I'm really never going to live that down, am I?" "Not anytime soon," Jack shook her head thelivesexcams. "What's your point?" Will asked. "My point is, I don't think you actually know what you want. I think you're caught in a loop and you can't decide what to do because you can't make sense of what you've been through," Jack said looking into his eyes. She was right, but there was more to it than she knew. His isolation had been to keep other people safe from his bad luck. He'd been trying to protect people. He knew he'd wasted years feeling sorry for himself, but ultimately all that was her fault. "Thanks for the analysis, oh great oracle. Tell me more about the answers I seek," Will snarked bitterly. "Answers are exactly what you're seeking, Will. That's my point. You don't have a real goal yet, because you don't feel like you know enough to come up with one. You're scared, and rightfully so. What you really want is information,"Jack shrugged. "And you won't give it to me!" Will threw his hands up in exasperation. "Not all of it, but you aren't stupid. Think about it. What do you know now compared to a month ago?" Jack asked. "A lot more, but it still doesn't make a lot of sense," Will admitted. "And when did you decide you wanted answers?" Jack asked. "When Bella came to tell me you were back," Will said, not really sure where she was going with this. "No, I don't think so. I'm betting you thought about it some time before that. Something happened, and you started wondering and wanting to know. When was it?" Jack asked. Will's brows furrowed. She was right. About two weeks before Bella had come, he'd had a discussion with Janie. She'd been encouraging him to get out of the house more. He'd told her he couldn't because of the curse, and for the first time she'd asked him how the curse worked. She thought they might be able to work around it somehow. He'd been frustrated because after years he still didn't understand it. He'd spent the whole rest of the day thinking about it, and gone to the Captain's Daughter with Caine that night to drink himself stupid. "About two weeks before. How did you know about that?" he asked. "See!? You finally decided you really wanted answers, and now they've come to you. Almost immediately. You've learned more about the curse, and my reasons for leaving you behind in the last week than you've known for five years," Jack said, trying to get him to really listen to her. Will knew that tone. She also wasn't taking his bait, which meant her mind was really fixated on something. "Yeah, because I could finally ask you. That isn't magic. That's just you finally being around again. Where are you going with this?" he asked. "Two weeks before coming back to Bastard's bay, I was meeting with Morant for the first time. He hadn't wanted to hire me because I'm a woman, but his first choice had broken his foot that morning and Morant didn't want to wait for the recovery. So he decided to hire me," Jack explained. "When he told me what he wanted, I immediately thought of you. I thought it was pretty strange at the time. Now it doesn't seem strange at all." "You think my curse did all that?" Will clearly didn't believe it. "Sounds like a string of coincidences." "That's what your curse is, Will! That's all it's ever been! It seems random at first glance, but it isn't. It responds to you. Maybe not in the ways you expect, and maybe not in ways that are easy to see the pattern for what it is, and maybe not without a price to be paid, but when you finally decide what you want, you get it." Jack put her hands on his knees and leaned in. "Do you get it?" "No," Will shook his head. "It means it worked, Will," Jack looked simultaneously elated and heartbroken. "The gift I gave you back in the ruin isn't broken. You are."
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